Change...

They say the one constant in life is change. And that may be true. However, who's to say that on top of that constant we cant create a "sub constant" known as improvement. I sttrive to make improvement one of MY lifes constants. Besides, what good is changing if you aren't improving or "bettering" yourself? So I urge you all, instead of our lives and our lifestyles changing, lets try and manipulate that change into positive energy. Energy that creates or causes us to improve. Daily I wake up, thank God for life, and ask myself and HIM how can I be better than I was the day before. And I encourage you all to do the same.

-Jay

Idiots...

Never argue with an idiot. They will bring you down to their level and beat you with experience...

Speechless...

I credit myself a writer. And on top of that a pretty damn good one. Now I could, and should be a lot better, and plan to be. And I will be a lot better, when I begin to write more frequently. I'm easily inspired, and very creative, at least so I've heard. And recently, in fact just 10 minutes ago (its 3:17 am) I had very long, enlightening, relieving conversation with an old "friend" of mine whom I haven't heard from in months (details unnecessary). All I will say is that me and this person have MANY memories, experiences, and stories alike. We shared laughs, tears, and feelings with one another and discussed all types of various private and not so private information. Usually after times like that my mind gets field with various ideas, concepts, emotions that would translate in something, ie, song, story, poem, etc. But for some odd reason, right now...I have nothing!

That's right, not a damn thing. No thoughts, no emotions, no ideas, nothing. And I don't know what that means. And its not because we didn't enjoy each others company. But simply because the final words that were exchanged, or news that I received rather left me with nothing to feel. And I'm not too sure why that is. I don't even know what I'm supposed to think. So now, I'm just here...rambling along talking about something that I don't know how to talk about. I've never felt so empty and at a loss for words, thoughts, and emotions in my life. It's only right that THIS particular old friend would make me feel this way. But, nevertheless I don't like it. Usually, when I feel this way I at least feel, pain or anger toward them. But honestly right now I just lost.

How could this be? Have you ever been at a lost for words SO MUCH that you don't not speak about the situation, but instead you find yourself rambling on aimlessly about that very same situation that you felt left you speechless? Well, that's the point I'm at now. This feels a lot worse than being hurt. Because I cant even vent properly :-/. Oh well let me try and write a song or something and get some sleep. Peace!

Cycle

See love is such a vicious cycle,
That's why I could never feel that way for you,
I've tried, and tried, Lord knows that I have,
But I will never feel that way for you,
And it's not you, as much as its me
Shit, its not even really me
It's her...
But if I went into detail with her about her past,
I'm pretty sure that I would learn that it isnt her either,
It was him...
In the end, its always them,
You weren't there when I spent those sleepless nights after our deepest fights,
Trying to figure out how I could make shit right,
And you didnt feel how it feels to hear, the one you love become your biggest fear,
As you lay on your back with tearful ears,
Now im stuck with these tears for years,
And now I'm scared,
Scared of me
Scared of you
Scared of feelings and all that they do
Im scared of the truth, to tell you the truth
What's left to do?
See, this is why I asked you to not ever say those words to me
Cuz wether you mean them or not, they're just words to me
That dont really have worth to me
And I'm not doin this shit purposely
I just feel so worthless, see
The last time I gave my all and my heart
I was all torn apart
And you can try and put me back together, but the fact remains
That somewhere out there there is a piece of me that I dont think will ever be found
I doubt she even has it now
So until its returned, your just gonna have to wait your turn
My last love was hot, and I ended up burned
So dont take it personally, my friend
Cuz in the end, its never you,
It's always them...

Under The Sun

Ok, so I'm a huge Joe Budden fan. Yes, that's the guy that made "Pump It Up" way back in 2003, damn I'm gettin old. Anyways, though you may know him for that poppy, radio friendly cut, I know Joe Budden as the most personal and insightful and witty, artist that the rap "game" has to offer. One reason, I'm such a huge fan of his is because he makes himself sound like the common human being. Joey allows one to view him as just another human, one that just so happens to be able to write some thought provoking things, thus making him easier to relate to than these other "rappers".

Which is what this post is about. Below is the third verse from a song of his titled "Under The Sun" which can be found on his Street Album "Halfway House", which is awesome btw. This verse right here is a little sample of him displaying himself as someone I can directly relate to. And I'm sure many others can. You have to know his "story" to understand what I mean fully, listen to his Mood Muzik catalog for that, but anyone who has ever been in a relationship, got out of thata situation and ended up in a better one shortly after, can relate to this verse. He absolutely destroys this verse with its direct message, clever lines and emotion in his delivery. Click below for the audio, and rap along if you'd like lol. Enjoy!



"When I see you I'm disgusted
Can't believe I was ever in love with
Must've been dusted
Cuz you look like shit, all these years they aint done you no justice
I mean you all fucked up, can't get cash
Still bitter over a past you can't get past
Just sad, get mad, cuz my bitch bad
Every day she switch heels, switch bags
Its like we living on a dock, big pad
You can't afford a deposit on my closet
Since you, all I've ever known was fly shit
Unfortunately you aint fit in that logic
Cuz you're much less
Sometimes you gotta stand by your failures to recognize your success
Still I be the bigger man and wish her all the best
If I know her she'll never get it
So why would she ever quit it

Still Dreaming...Nas ft. Kanye West

This is from Nas' Hip Hop is Dead Album. Kinda old, but when music is this hot its timeless. So, here's the first "Song of the Week"

Shout out to enigmaticENT on the video, kinda dope

New Additions

Ok so I've been gone for a week. Do not fret however, I have been away with good reason. But now I'm back, and I didn't come empty handed. I have done some brainstorming and tried to figure out how I can grow this blog. So with no further adieu, here are some of the things you can expect to find on my blog:

1. Song of the week: I will update this every weekend, to allow readers to check out what I'm currently rockin out too, and maybe we share the same loves and you will appreciate it.

2. Honey of the Month: Yes, its exaclt ywhat it sounds like. I will have a new eye candy every month that I will pay tribute to for their wonderful God given ass-ets lol. Ladies, before you get mad, they wont be your regualr half naked women. I will put women who are actually makin moves. I may even use real friends of mine if they permit lol.

3. More of my music

4. Interviews with rising stars: In the coming months I will have interviews with friends of mine who are currently doing their thing. Dont worry, they wont be "nobodies". Someof you may recognize many of them.

Well thats all the additions I thought of. You will still get regular me, poems, thoughts, ideas, etc. I just wanted to try and expand my blog in other ways. Well I hope you all will enjoy. Thanks for reading, peace!

Twitter here. Twitter there. A little Twitter EVERYWHERE?? >:o

Seriously, this is getting outta hand. When will the social network madness end? Facebook virtually has EVERYTHING one could ask for in terms of a social network. So why do we NEED Twitter? To let EVERYONE, or those whom choose to "follow" us, know what we are doing, thinking, and/or feeling at every moment. I mean what is its benefits seriously?

Now, I'm not knocking Twitter completely. I do see some instances where it is necessary. For instance, celebrities, I can see how they benefit from it. Its definitely a new, innovative and inexpensive way to market oneself. Who needs a PR person when you can PR for yourself from behind your lap top. In addition its a great way to keep people up to date with any news involving yourself. I completely see the use there. In addition, business owners. Much like celebs, its a way of advertisement. Beginning business owners can use twitter to grow their business without the help of buying a commercial slot or news paper ad.

As and aspiring rapper, and business owner, I will have a twitter in the future. However, the concept of having one as a "regular" human being, that is currently just in school until my newest endeavors begin, is pointless and almost obsessive. Because lets be honest, do we REALLY care what everyone is doing at every moment? I know I'm not that interested.

As you can see my feelings towards twitter are kinda mixed. I just don't see the value of it unless you have something to advertise. So that's why I wrote this blog. Can anyone give me five, just five reason, or ways rather, one can benefit from twitter? All I need is someone to tell me why its such a "big" deal, because right now, I just don't see it.

Signing off, Twitter (k), Facebook or die!!!!

Musical Chairs...

Why do people sit in your seat in class?

Yea, I know I'm in college, and have been for a few years now, and I understand the concept of allowing students to make their own choices and become adults. So i agree with the no assigned seats idea in college. With that said,, though the teacher doesn't give u assigned seating, we do kinda sit in seats we like the most. That is, once we sit in a seat the first day of class, and then the second and third, we create a habit and maybe even an attachment to that seat, that area of the room. I know I do.

Which is why I'm so angry right now, the other day, I go into my African American Studies class, and this broad is sitting in MY seat. We've been in school 6 weeks already, and on THIS particular day she decides to sit in the seat I HAVE ALWAYS sat in. What I wanna know is, what told her it was OK? What in her mind felt it was appropriate?

NOTHING!

And she knew damn well she was wrong. How do I know this? You ask! Because she looked back at me when I came in the class and suddenly put her head down like she was reading over her notes, smh!

You know what I hate most about this though, is that there's really nothing I can do about it. I mean, what could I actually do to get her back or to let her know I didn't appreciate that gesture? I cant sit in her seat, because she obviously didn't like hers. So what do I do? Now I'm stuck. All I can do is try to get in class earlier so I can get my seat to the left of the classroom right next to the world map on the wall smh.

Focus!!!!

Here I sit in this dreaded 8 am class, doing everything possible to stay focused
Yet I fail
Sure I can see the teacher talking, and gesturing with his hand and eyes
Obviously saying something of importance,
But thats not what I hear
I can hear the girl sitting in back of me texting
Even more, trying to somehow giggle discreetly
But I can hear her
And thats not it,
I can hear my mom yelling at me when I get home later on
Because I forgot to take the trash out this morning
And yes, I heard her when she told me
But at that time I could also hear my phone ringing,
Which turned into a twenty minute conversation
I heard that
But now all I hear is the guy to my right flipping through the pages of his noteebook
What could he be looking for?
Before I couuld answer I heard a pen drop
I bent down to pick it up and I heard the class laugh hysterically
What were they laughing at?
I guess someone made a joke,
I obviously didnt hear that
I suddenly paid attention for a short period of time
That is, until I could hear the screams and tears of my now ex-girlfriend
I can hear tears developing in my eyes,
But before I could cry
I hear my name
Again its said, I blink twice and look up
Now I can hear nothing
Silence...
"Are you gonna answer?" my teacher said
Before I replied, I could only hear myself in my head,
"I will never take an 8 am class again", then I responded,
"I'm sorry, what was the question again I didn't hear you"