Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Speechless...

I credit myself a writer. And on top of that a pretty damn good one. Now I could, and should be a lot better, and plan to be. And I will be a lot better, when I begin to write more frequently. I'm easily inspired, and very creative, at least so I've heard. And recently, in fact just 10 minutes ago (its 3:17 am) I had very long, enlightening, relieving conversation with an old "friend" of mine whom I haven't heard from in months (details unnecessary). All I will say is that me and this person have MANY memories, experiences, and stories alike. We shared laughs, tears, and feelings with one another and discussed all types of various private and not so private information. Usually after times like that my mind gets field with various ideas, concepts, emotions that would translate in something, ie, song, story, poem, etc. But for some odd reason, right now...I have nothing!

That's right, not a damn thing. No thoughts, no emotions, no ideas, nothing. And I don't know what that means. And its not because we didn't enjoy each others company. But simply because the final words that were exchanged, or news that I received rather left me with nothing to feel. And I'm not too sure why that is. I don't even know what I'm supposed to think. So now, I'm just here...rambling along talking about something that I don't know how to talk about. I've never felt so empty and at a loss for words, thoughts, and emotions in my life. It's only right that THIS particular old friend would make me feel this way. But, nevertheless I don't like it. Usually, when I feel this way I at least feel, pain or anger toward them. But honestly right now I just lost.

How could this be? Have you ever been at a lost for words SO MUCH that you don't not speak about the situation, but instead you find yourself rambling on aimlessly about that very same situation that you felt left you speechless? Well, that's the point I'm at now. This feels a lot worse than being hurt. Because I cant even vent properly :-/. Oh well let me try and write a song or something and get some sleep. Peace!

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