Change...

They say the one constant in life is change. And that may be true. However, who's to say that on top of that constant we cant create a "sub constant" known as improvement. I sttrive to make improvement one of MY lifes constants. Besides, what good is changing if you aren't improving or "bettering" yourself? So I urge you all, instead of our lives and our lifestyles changing, lets try and manipulate that change into positive energy. Energy that creates or causes us to improve. Daily I wake up, thank God for life, and ask myself and HIM how can I be better than I was the day before. And I encourage you all to do the same.

-Jay

Idiots...

Never argue with an idiot. They will bring you down to their level and beat you with experience...

Speechless...

I credit myself a writer. And on top of that a pretty damn good one. Now I could, and should be a lot better, and plan to be. And I will be a lot better, when I begin to write more frequently. I'm easily inspired, and very creative, at least so I've heard. And recently, in fact just 10 minutes ago (its 3:17 am) I had very long, enlightening, relieving conversation with an old "friend" of mine whom I haven't heard from in months (details unnecessary). All I will say is that me and this person have MANY memories, experiences, and stories alike. We shared laughs, tears, and feelings with one another and discussed all types of various private and not so private information. Usually after times like that my mind gets field with various ideas, concepts, emotions that would translate in something, ie, song, story, poem, etc. But for some odd reason, right now...I have nothing!

That's right, not a damn thing. No thoughts, no emotions, no ideas, nothing. And I don't know what that means. And its not because we didn't enjoy each others company. But simply because the final words that were exchanged, or news that I received rather left me with nothing to feel. And I'm not too sure why that is. I don't even know what I'm supposed to think. So now, I'm just here...rambling along talking about something that I don't know how to talk about. I've never felt so empty and at a loss for words, thoughts, and emotions in my life. It's only right that THIS particular old friend would make me feel this way. But, nevertheless I don't like it. Usually, when I feel this way I at least feel, pain or anger toward them. But honestly right now I just lost.

How could this be? Have you ever been at a lost for words SO MUCH that you don't not speak about the situation, but instead you find yourself rambling on aimlessly about that very same situation that you felt left you speechless? Well, that's the point I'm at now. This feels a lot worse than being hurt. Because I cant even vent properly :-/. Oh well let me try and write a song or something and get some sleep. Peace!

Cycle

See love is such a vicious cycle,
That's why I could never feel that way for you,
I've tried, and tried, Lord knows that I have,
But I will never feel that way for you,
And it's not you, as much as its me
Shit, its not even really me
It's her...
But if I went into detail with her about her past,
I'm pretty sure that I would learn that it isnt her either,
It was him...
In the end, its always them,
You weren't there when I spent those sleepless nights after our deepest fights,
Trying to figure out how I could make shit right,
And you didnt feel how it feels to hear, the one you love become your biggest fear,
As you lay on your back with tearful ears,
Now im stuck with these tears for years,
And now I'm scared,
Scared of me
Scared of you
Scared of feelings and all that they do
Im scared of the truth, to tell you the truth
What's left to do?
See, this is why I asked you to not ever say those words to me
Cuz wether you mean them or not, they're just words to me
That dont really have worth to me
And I'm not doin this shit purposely
I just feel so worthless, see
The last time I gave my all and my heart
I was all torn apart
And you can try and put me back together, but the fact remains
That somewhere out there there is a piece of me that I dont think will ever be found
I doubt she even has it now
So until its returned, your just gonna have to wait your turn
My last love was hot, and I ended up burned
So dont take it personally, my friend
Cuz in the end, its never you,
It's always them...